Feature article and poem

                                              Go Big or Go Home

                                                By: Nina Egger

​

​

            

                       

                       

 

 

 

 

  

                       my family's Christmas card in the year 2000

​

       It doesn’t matter where I live,  all I need is my family. I have four older brothers, and their names are Ryan, Sean, Keith, and Evan.  My mom stayed home with us full time, so I asked her to be able to talk to about my family. I talked to my mom about the reasons she had a lot of kids, and what it was like raising us.  My mom grew up in the California countryside and only has two older brothers. When she married my dad, who is from Canada and has one younger brother, they made the decision to have a big family.  One important lesson that I learned from being surrounded by so many siblings is that no matter where we lived, we will always be there for each other.  Since my parents were from two different countries, I was able to live in Canada and the United States.

When I was growing up, I noticed that there is a different dynamic in a smaller family versus a large family because there are more moving parts, and by parts, I mean children. For example, when my mom would get us up for school instead of going up to our beds and shaking us awake, she would stand in the stairway and would do a loud two-fingers-in-the-mouth whistle up to us to get up and come downstairs.

When I asked about why I had so many siblings, my mom said “Because I loved having babies, and they are wonderful. I love children, I wanted to have more as I went along.” By the time my mom had me, she was thirty-five, so she was advised to stop after me. However, she has said over the years that she still wishes that she could have had at least one more child. 

       When I was really little, I agreed with her to a certain existent. From about age four to age seven, I would ask for a little sister as a gift for my birthdays and Christmas. My parents thought it was cute at first, but then after a few years, my mom decided to burst that bubble.  My mom also added that she was too old to have kids, but we both agreed that it would have been great for me to have a little sister. During our interview, we ended up talking about how I used to ask her for a little sister. So, I asked her “Why do you think things would be different if I had a sister?” She replied “Well, because you wouldn’t be the only girl and you would not feel so left out when your brothers go off and are very physical. I think you would have someone to turn to that was a sibling or it could be that you didn’t get along. You never know just because it’s another girl doesn’t necessarily mean you will get along.” I definitely agree with her on all those things, it would have been growing up with another girl, but who knows what the nature of my relationship with my could-have-been sister could have been.

            My parents raised us in both the United States and Canada. We lived in Montreal, Quebec for school. Then, we would live in Burlington, Vermont for most vacations and almost every weekend.  Being that my parents were from both places, I also grew up surrounded by my extended family that lived in those areas. I asked my mom if she was ever judged by family or strangers for having a large family, and that made her laugh, but she said “Only in a good way.” As far as the average size of the families in the communities I grew up in, I never met anyone who had more than three siblings.  I’m sure there were larger families with in those communities but I never met them.

            I got a taste of both a city living lifestyle and a more outdoor living lifestyle.  From my mom’s perspective, the benefits to city life were “Seeing how society works, how social circles work, and be exposed to art and different cultures.” When I asked her about the benefits of living in the country, she commented that “Burlington, Vermont was not really out in the countryside.”, with prompting she added, “you are outside moving your body, learning about nature, getting all the benefits of sunshine and fresh air on a regular basis, and you learn about the world around you.” Being that my mom was raised in the countryside of California, I definitely think she prefers it.

            I asked my mom what came to her mind when she thought of a particular moment that would only happen to a large family and She said “Ryan must have been about fourteen or fifteen, and he was feeling very self-conscious about having such a large family. We went into an Italian restaurant; it was down into a basement space. It had an all-tile floor and had all these little tables, and we didn’t all fit at one table. So, we split up between us.  At the first table Dad, you, and I sat together, and Evan, Keith, Ryan, and Sean at another table. So, the guy came out and served us all some water. The waiter brought our food, then, Evan wanted to bring me a plate because he wanted some of what I had. He got up, took the plate in his hand, and walked over, he looked at me and for some reason, we still don’t know why.  he dropped the plate on the tile floor. The plate smashed to the floor, and the whole restaurant stopped. Then, Keith felt embarrassed so he went underneath the table because he wanted to hide. Then, he stood up and everything went flying onto the floor, and Ryan was mortified and embarrassed that he was related to us.” I was a baby when this happened but it sounds like a very typical outing for my family when we were all kids.

        We moved to Wellesley, Massachusetts in July of 2013 and since then my family has started to branch off and start their own lives. Even though we weren’t raised here, I’m sure it will become special to us over time. I feel that way because that is what makes a family special, we may frequently change where we call home, but our family will be forever.  My family has also kept growing because a few years ago Ryan’s wife gave birth to twin boys, Max and Theo, the first of my mom’s grandchildren. Even though my mom never had children after she had me, I know she will love all her grandchildren just as she loves me and my siblings.   

     Over the years, no matter where my siblings were compared to me, I always counted on the strong bond my mom cultivated between all of us.  I have had a very unique life being able to live in two of the best countries in the world with a large family, and we’re all still moving around.

​

​

​

​

​

​

​

                                         

                                          My family in March 2023